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0pt">（根据文字内容整理）
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: l6 G+ ^: W$ t' y) f楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">时间：6 N" b7 E+ U) _0 I9 I
mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">2014. I) U2 }' }: E4 Y% Umso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">年8月12日
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0 \# c. }0 Z( X- ?( w! A% Q楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">地点：% |0 Y j# S; t6 r/ |
mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">老秘网“文稿修改演播室”（QQ群号：366351120）
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# C1 l/ d; t( z. N: B: t' r* @楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">主讲：5 G# d" L- B* K1 U. a! U$ D
mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">端方
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1 w6 v0 n S$ q+ A: _( z楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">整理：, i+ o9 q* f" l/ _0 m4 C: X) Jmso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">杨苏
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! t- e4 C# N6 G" Zmso-font-kerning:0pt">一、对一篇汇报材料的讨论
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font-family:黑体;mso-hansi-font-family:黑体;mso-bidi-font-family:黑体">老猫：某市美丽乡村创建工作情况汇报，大家帮某同学推敲一组标题，如何？
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"Times New Roman"">（一）立足转型强村，打造宜业乡村。
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/ Q& J7 {% c$ x* M$ A7 Q# d8 Y; s6 `# Aline-height:30.0pt;mso-line-height-rule:exactly">; [, |8 ?6 y3 M' w9 i* q9 K, w"Times New Roman"">（二）坚持“五水共治”，打造宜人乡村
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"Times New Roman"">（三）着眼增收致富，打造宜农乡村。
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"Times New Roman"">（四）突出民生保障，打造宜居乡村。
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line-height:30.0pt;mso-line-height-rule:exactly">( z' o" D' z% l* v2 Ffont-family:仿宋_GB2312;mso-ascii-font-family:宋体;mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;3 A! o8 e& q- F# ^
mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">魅力乡村，幸福乡村、宜居乡村、富裕乡村之类的，我的意思是用一根线串起来，让这组小标题形成一个整体。/ I) z$ _0 h; p6 T3 \1 } T! O% k) q7 Bmso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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# |( h4 v1 d: l* Q楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">端方：0 w4 C6 q- b A" H0 P
mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">标题分两部分，前半部分亮手段（做法），后半部分凸显成效。四个乡村的思路不错，但内容上缺少支撑，建议再从内容上面抓取下逻辑。另外，感觉题目不足以体现内容。- ^3 l+ |& e _1 ~/ C3 Imso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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0 Y: T! W( F8 _楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">胡晓斌：7 ?( Y. I9 t! M/ J) P) W
mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">嗯，内容来讲有并列的，也有逻辑递进关系，不知如何把握。$ `- h( R3 B n1 E6 g' t; }3 Y
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. B% z$ k4 U+ j3 z. J楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">猫老：3 M5 ~( B F- l6 D7 `mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">富增收入，美展新颜。0 ?# Q, t/ \+ C' b0 }( H8 b( b6 c/ s
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# V/ y* R' j% u6 e楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">霞光：# G: Q3 i5 w' p! N
mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">民生保障作为出发点，惠农增收作为增长点呢, r4 S5 G7 @4 ^5 Amso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">,) k6 v/ {- M* Y14.0pt;font-family:仿宋_GB2312;mso-ascii-font-family:宋体;mso-hansi-font-family:8 R& n6 i8 k; K3 M8 Y1 t- a0 C
宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">妥否" \2 O! E7 P0 i4 \6 W I
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">感觉民生保障包括很多方面，不只是宜居。宜居一般是和生态环境放在一起的，民生保障一般和和谐、幸福搭配在一起。! I% Y6 h8 L: [( ^; K% S" ?mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">北纬30度：2 Q6 N+ T1 x! }( ]
mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">顺序调整一下，环境放最后。不知道第一点内容。/ @+ |/ U* m2 ^7 y1 M
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B' }( W& G1 N( Z4 B3 H0 }% oline-height:30.0pt;mso-line-height-rule:exactly">; f: X/ ~* k' _7 Q a9 C# a14.0pt;font-family:楷体_GB2312;mso-hansi-font-family:楷体_GB2312;mso-bidi-font-family:
9 h, e3 K+ c* n% O# Z楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">胡晓斌：% M9 z. a" J2 q* @- ^7 k% [) m" Q fmso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">整个提纲是这样子的：/ x: w. s6 N4 Z [6 N, H% v
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宋体;mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">一、三任书记接力干，一张蓝图抓创建2 x2 U5 b% |1 c. i6 G+ K
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仿宋_GB2312;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">2$ R' t2 Y+ E$ m) s0 s
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7 _3 T2 p/ M5 H' o7 [! B& A( I" J宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">、政策支撑强保障。* F0 ?4 y9 N- m2 M9 Y; S# x3 m2 n
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宋体;mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">二、十年时间抓整治，美丽乡村显成效+ q" V7 l+ `0 @' G* kfont-family:宋体;mso-fareast-font-family:仿宋_GB2312;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;- }# W8 b/ H) m3 u* k, q
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line-height:30.0pt;mso-line-height-rule:exactly">8 a' C- F# ?* m6 I2 P宋体;mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">（一）坚持把转型强村作为美丽乡村建设的7 K! a5 U+ {( X2 xfont-family:宋体;mso-fareast-font-family:仿宋_GB2312;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;
- n7 j4 u8 h) ?mso-font-kerning:0pt">“, @) s3 ~" s6 l) h4 `/ Gmso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">重头戏* p# J/ Z. d0 Z* R
font-family:宋体;mso-fareast-font-family:仿宋_GB2312;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;& `; g" }2 g& ^! }
mso-font-kerning:0pt">”$ w9 r8 |( `6 U% W) i) I8 p5 I- omso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">，乡村发展水平有效提升。" `, n( {" j) K" J* Pfont-family:宋体;mso-fareast-font-family:仿宋_GB2312;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;8 B0 {: _! a: x$ \# q, x% X* q
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仿宋_GB2312;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt"> 1% i$ h: J- {! J, P S宋体;mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">、依靠主体强动力。4 V$ ~# A- t- {4 c; zfont-family:宋体;mso-fareast-font-family:仿宋_GB2312;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;
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宋体;mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">、产村联动促增收。/ \. d' a0 ~( ~$ x6 E0 X; o# Z
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宋体;mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">、推进农村生活污水治理。' {* x% B9 S( G, z! n! \7 N* J9 s$ e: mfont-family:宋体;mso-fareast-font-family:仿宋_GB2312;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;+ J6 V1 }: @! k' n" M4 f0 s, n
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宋体;mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">、做好农村面源污染整治。! }! }$ ]; ~ v! h: Ffont-family:宋体;mso-fareast-font-family:仿宋_GB2312;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;
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宋体;mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">（三）坚持把惠农增收作为美丽乡村建设的- @- |- {% J4 [. d% J& x
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* g1 ^, W! K: f- L; L+ m. j9 U7 h# n3 k$ r* w& |; A9 N$ V7 W; F5 Sline-height:30.0pt;mso-line-height-rule:exactly">0 M8 I. C4 c- j& {9 c仿宋_GB2312;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt"> 33 A8 [. v2 ^: a% X! F宋体;mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">、促进农民增收。$ k+ x0 ?/ b1 D# L; d/ tfont-family:宋体;mso-fareast-font-family:仿宋_GB2312;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;
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宋体;mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">（四）坚持把民生保障作为美丽乡村建设的" k" {% r0 S8 T/ q5 T5 _font-family:宋体;mso-fareast-font-family:仿宋_GB2312;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;- q! m0 j: Y2 P/ J. f( G) O, i( w
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宋体;mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">、不断优化公共服务。, t( y( V `* Z
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宋体;mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">、不断繁荣乡村文化。, |3 Y- }1 H* s2 V7 T; }font-family:宋体;mso-fareast-font-family:仿宋_GB2312;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;
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宋体;mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">、深化农村改革。7 G7 j- V4 e! U* X, x5 Y3 i/ D
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宋体;mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">、做强农业产业。! B, A3 J! Q, [* c' n. M( ifont-family:宋体;mso-fareast-font-family:仿宋_GB2312;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;9 c% M, l/ @# Z7 X/ c8 ]! @
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仿宋_GB2312;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt"> 4' h% P, w; R6 K- @. q7 @宋体;mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">、确保农民实惠。4 V/ N( X) k; ffont-family:宋体;mso-fareast-font-family:仿宋_GB2312;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;: V( E1 ^& p1 N$ k& x
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4 U* o) f7 B8 q楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">端方：- l0 E2 K3 I' P( K rmso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">一级标题可以不动，二级标题提炼修改一下吧。主体产业是什么呢？7 D0 Y2 ^# p' R+ A% E. ~ V5 S
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6 v1 r( G( E( p' c8 a楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">胡晓斌：2 }5 I! `* W, {/ `& u/ T
mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">产村联动促增收。坚持建设与发展并重，因地制宜做到美丽乡村建设与产业项目发展并举。一是整合特色产业。根据不同的区位优势、产业基础和发展趋势，规划产业布局，整合产业资源，大力发展专业市场，壮大村集体经济。如古山镇大园东村依托发达的废旧钢铁产业，引导周边. y: j- _5 Q$ |8 W
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宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">个自然村向中心村集聚，建成了拥有3 x: `$ ?4 h' s- G; T6 H4 h. s
mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">533: @ {: K4 e0 G9 k1 Y. G' k0 T14.0pt;font-family:仿宋_GB2312;mso-ascii-font-family:宋体;mso-hansi-font-family:, e3 F! a" |4 o0 G
宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">个摊位的废旧钢铁市场，村集体经济年收入% ^7 C7 _) p6 j/ \mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">1000" g& o- e+ V2 u6 ~3 Y% x% ]
mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">多万元。二是发展物业经济。针对区位优势明显的村，通过农村集体建设用地开发和项目建设，盘活土地，投资发展集体物业项目。如城西新区小东陈村，通过与相邻( ]5 _1 _6 }& C- Q' r
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2 y" x& ]* I$ p& E3 N: [) L( y宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">个村联合建立五星社区，集聚人口7 I0 R, R- K3 w/ w+ o% }4 r7 n
mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">2500. ], ^9 w8 @! U2 L( \
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8 L O" W% R/ I宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">万平方米，建设城西物流中心，实现村民、企业、环境的1 w- h& K c# L' Q, I9 kmso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">“/ r; A g. @" }0 g& \
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\: A. X1 D. T9 Z: I% ]宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">。7 x- S: H* I* Wmso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">：一般正文里不用一是二是三是的吗？( B' j8 V( W& w7 y9 }) I* U
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楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">端方:7 P$ e' e4 t7 |% K: u. f8 d6 vmso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">用是可以用，问题不在这里。这个材料感觉像是工作总结，挂了个美丽乡村的头，较牵强。2 I0 S, M! {2 Z0 k8 Fmso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">胡晓斌: |; T/ a% {' }& v& u+ S% z6 Emso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">那没有，美丽乡村建设也包括这些内容的，而不仅仅是村庄整治。3 f' h/ Q( y8 }1 }mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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3 J- `4 `% C. N. X+ q0 h0 H楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">端方：) ~2 f b H. P- d7 xmso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">我不是这个意思，美丽乡村汇报也好，生态乡村汇报也好，这些内容都可以用。一个汇报材料第一是基本情况，第二是对于创建活动本身的相关情况汇报，第三是做法，第四适当点点问题。当然，问题也可以根据实际情况不点。至于你的措施，应该是结合本情况来的。而且此提纲里，做法没有必要分这么多层次，容易造成逻辑上的混乱。你先要明确出这么几个重点。比如，要说转型，你想表达的转型是什么转型，怎么转型，转出什么成效，结合美丽乡村落到优化产业结构上比较好。5 ]; N/ x6 o/ Vmso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">胡晓斌:, \5 E# R! g. ?5 t' j3 vmso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">我内容太多了是嘛？& D7 ?$ B7 q4 M" x7 `/ H
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8 {" V2 {( P/ Y& u楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">端方:7 g+ `, }5 _5 T; Smso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">不是多，是乱了。我看完的体会是包罗万象，但具体内容看完却记不住多少。1 t9 Y% C4 ?7 {! ~# \
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">不过不是不能说，要理顺一下。举个例子来说，就用猫总凝练的题目（一）坚持把转型强村作为美丽乡村建设的' U' C* S' S8 X9 m bmso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">“0 n/ n+ i1 J* r' R8 y" H
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% O, r5 n% g7 ]1 t+ x* J9 \宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">，乡村发展水平有效提升。这个标题要写，要明确围绕的中心是转型强村。效果是乡村发展水平。对应转型强村找内容。) e _: N1 P! R5 m
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- z( [, }4 X% b( y楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">胡晓斌:/ P2 o+ y5 }& \ O+ p S Nmso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">那我把内容归纳一下，第二部分就点明五六点重点内容。5 H1 R L" `' y6 g9 Umso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">内容不在于多少，要说出亮点与特色。大家都在创建，为什么选你。因为你创建的有成效，亮点多，做法新。* a$ b& ~( S( i0 M A
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1 G; ?/ y" } u, Bmso-font-kerning:0pt">号同学你这是典型的观点加事迹的写法，要把材料融会贯通，并从中提炼观点。! A& m2 l- [1 V" r% t8 e+ l% Nmso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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) V& T+ z" A9 I6 B Hmso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">我发表一下个人的想法，有以下几个方面的建议：一是老秘并不了解学员工作的具体环境和具体情况，如果要这样一对一的修改，是需要花费一些时间慢慢对接的；二是就本文来说存在一些逻辑问题，可能是在撰稿之初就犯了一些逻辑性错误，观点（小标题）是根据内容提炼出来的，而本文的小标题对仗工整，乍一看给人的感觉是比较好，但一看内容就有点文不对题了。例如：第一部分，作为乡级政府谈何政策支持？乡镇有制定政策的权限吗？) G4 Q) o$ U! t" G: `+ @) `* F5 }' hmso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">胡晓斌:& D0 }$ k f8 K! p% C% [2 amso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">我们是县级市，不是乡镇。$ c' R8 v- K: |# N, G
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">县级，包括地市级都没有制定政策的权限，都是贯彻落实上级的政策。此外，从文章的提纲看，二级标题不能囊括内容。/ |; m! P2 S! [" M" G& jmso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">县级市应该有制定本县美丽乡村建设实施意见和考核标准、政策支持等权力的吧。二级标题与子标题脱节。7 q+ {6 m5 R* V+ i2 |* i
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">即便乡镇没有制定政策的权限，但也可以出台一些举措，比如以奖代补，纳入考核。这些可以归入政策层面。' Y) F# Y1 Q Q$ F
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">对，这个问题我同意。而且这也不是核心问题。核心问题可能还是逻辑架构上。我觉得晓斌对转型可能没有理解透。& H5 `9 p x4 l6 k! ymso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">号同学胡晓斌- ]- z* S% b# Q4 Z
mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">——剖析材料的写法。+ s0 n* l. h! Y' ^1 N4 U4 J$ B
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mso-hansi-font-family:宋体;mso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">这篇六大点，有点多，整合下。" }2 H6 ~ K3 ]1 L! x- xmso-bidi-font-family:宋体;mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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! d' L2 {1 z$ zmso-font-kerning:0pt">二、列提纲、明思路1 b) q3 X' @) }2 t8 e8 U, X
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楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">端方:如果反过来，写加强社区制度建设，对93向社区制度进行梳理，非常平，看不出什么特色与亮点来。
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楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">铁树凝:需求为王，刨树刨根，循此，深挖，梳理片段，轮廓，佐以素材，碰撞，修正思路，揉融观点素材，思路为纲，纲举目张，终是符合有关要求，才算好。
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" D5 Y& X- T2 ]5 B楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">飘雪:总之写作很难，难在何处，之一是思维。
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楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">铁树凝:难在先方有可贵后生！思路素材之间有一碰撞修正过程不是一成不变的，中间很多时候有变化。
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" Z8 U% m1 O" W& M" I2 p b楷体_GB2312;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">老猫:好标题的灵感从哪里来？老猫的体会是从段落内容中提炼，从个别字词中联想，从上级文件中生发，从参考资料中化用，从交流碰撞中偶得。
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300x180 AD
